Are You ‘Too’ Nice? 6 Truths About People Who Are Too Kind
Do you feel like you sometimes put other's needs above your own? Maybe you feel that your kindness is taken advantage of? Perhaps you don’t often see yourself as being ‘too kind’ but rather, a generally nice person?
There is nothing wrong with being a kind person, in fact, it’s what most of us try to be. However, when others start to take advantage of your caring nature, this is where you may want to decide whether or not you are being too kind.
Is Being “Too” Nice A Bad Thing?
Most people would say that you can never be too nice, and this is normally accurate. Everyone wants to be treated with respect and kindness. Most of us will also want to treat others that way too!
Sometimes though, you may find that you are being taken advantage of by others. Plus, at times some people don’t seem to care about your feelings, despite you always caring about theirs. This could mean that you need to take a step back and see who is truly worthy of your friendship and kindness.
Being kind certainly isn’t a bad thing, it’s just something to watch out for if you are made to feel unhappy for the sake of others.
Are You Too Nice? 6 Truths About People Who Are Too Kind
I am going to discuss some truths about people who may be too kind and putting other's wants and needs above their own.
If any of these ring true to you, try and figure out how you feel about it. Plus, think about if you want to carry on having certain friendships where you are made to feel this way.
1. You Always Make Yourself Available
No matter what you are doing, you can always make yourself available to others, even if it hinders you. This could be physically available, or even emotionally available. You could be going through a hard time, but if your friend needs you, you may put those feelings aside to help them.
Whether you are helping a friend in a time of need or putting your own feelings aside to help your partner, try not to push aside your own feelings or worries. Most true friendships and relationships will understand and now want to take advantage of you.
2. You Forgive Too Easily
This could be because you don’t want to upset anyone or carry on an argument for fear of losing the friendship. In addition, this is especially complicated when it involves family or larger friendship groups. Perhaps, you don’t want others to feel upset or become angry at you for your feelings.
However, it’s important to recognize that your feelings are as important as theirs. They should be able to understand when you are hurt and why you are hurt. If you continue to forgive too easily, it may be they do not fully understand the consequences of their actions. If necessary, take a stand!
3. You Hardly Speak Up For Yourself
This may be because you do not want to upset anyone, or you do not want to offend anyone. In some cases, people keep quiet because they don’t see a resolution to an argument. But sometimes we have to speak up so that we are heard by others and they know that their behavior is wrong.
It may be because you fear rejection or judgment, but try to remember that your feelings mean a lot, and people should know when they have done something to hurt you. Try and speak up when you feel it is necessary and doesn’t push away your feelings.
How To Stand Up For Yourself:
- What are YOU thinking? Listen to your gut. If you can acknowledge your own feelings and say these thoughts to yourself, then you can slowly start to vocalize them to others.
- Say these thoughts to the person in question… in your mind. Visualize the conversation in your head. What will you say and how will you express your own feelings?
- Don't limit or judge yourself. Set boundaries! If you do not have the confidence to stay true to yourself in your own head, then it will be even more difficult to confront someone else. Remember, self-care isn't selfish.
- Recognize that you can disagree with someone and still be kind. This article is all about being ‘too' kind and often we don't feel kind when we are disagreeing with people. But this doesn't have to be the case! Communicate your honest thoughts. Find the balance between open-mindedness and being a ‘push-over'. Remember that being assertive and honest doesn't have to be mean.
4. You Are Constantly Saying Sorry
You may find that you are constantly saying sorry to others, even if you haven’t done anything wrong in the first place. This could be because you are quite hard on yourself. As soon as you feel guilty about something, you apologize.
Sometimes you may not be the one in the wrong! If you are made to feel like you are, this could sway you into apologizing. Maybe it’s because you do not want to upset anyone, but make sure that there is actually something you need to apologize for before you do.
5. You Are Aware Of Others Emotions
You may find it very easy to spot when someone else is upset or mad, even if they are trying not to show it. This could be due to having an empathetic and caring nature; you can sympathize with others and see things from their perspective.
This can be a great trait to have, especially if you want to care for and help others. Although, try to be sure that other people can do the same for you. Plus, it's nice to know that you will have someone who can help and sympathize with you too.
6. You Never Say No
If someone asks you for a favor, you may be likely to say yes, despite what plans you might have to change yourself. If you find yourself constantly saying yes and missing out on things you want to do for yourself, you may be ‘too kind’.
Sometimes, saying yes is great and being there for a friend is also a lovely thing to do. However, when you start to focus more on their needs than your own, you may start to feel resentment as you will miss out on the things you need to do.
If you really do have to say no sometimes, a true friend should understand this.
You may have read this article, and realized that you can resonate with these truths. Perhaps you have realized that you are being taken advantage of sometimes. Or, you feel that a friendship or relationship may be one-sided?
Take a look at this self-hypnosis program on ending a toxic relationship today, if you need a little more help with finding true friendships and relationships, and letting go of toxic people in your life. Remember: you can still be kind and practice self-care! It's all about balance. So don't actively let people take advantage of you. Increase your self-esteem today and remove toxicity from your life!