Do people ever tell you that your standards are too high? Do you find yourself frequently trying to work out how to be perfect, and refusing perfect imperfection into your life?
If so, it's likely that you sometimes get in your own way when it comes to manifesting your Law of Attraction goals.
While it's great to know your own worth and to aim high, it's possible to inhibit your own success by focusing too much on making things perfect. But if you tend to think like this, what can you do about it?
We'll look at how a person ever becomes a perfectionist, and we'll show you how to identify the key signs that suggest you're struggling with this issue in your own life.
From there, we'll dig into why perfectionism blocks you from manifesting your dreams, and we'll close with four powerful techniques that help you accept that no one is perfect.
Let's start with the most important truth: no one is perfect. Imperfections are a fact of life, so trying to figure out how to be perfect is a fool's errand.
Although we're shown certain standards of beauty, productivity, and so on from a very early age, we can't possibly meet these standards with any consistency.
This might initially make you feel bad about yourself, and give you a sense of being limited. However, you needn't despair at our inane imperfection – it's not a bad thing.
To understand the notion of perfect imperfection (i.e., why you are your best self partly because of your flaws), it's helpful to look to the Japanese concept of Wabi-Sabi.
This concept is made up of two ideas – “Wabi” refers to aligning ourselves with the universe, and “Sabi” refers to the fact that nothing is permanent.
In conjunction, these two ideas are meant to encourage us to celebrate life's essentially impermanent, perfect imperfection.
Of course, in spite of the above, most of us feel some resistance to the idea that we can never be perfect.
Although no one is perfect, we may nevertheless become perfectionists.
A perfectionist devotes a lot of time and energy to trying to be as beautiful, successful, productive, smart, and emotionally fulfilled as possible.
If you feel like you think a lot about how to be perfect, then you may well be a perfectionist.
It's likely that this causes you some distress, constantly leaving you feeling like you're missing the mark.
But why is this such a common problem? Let's now turn to consider what causes perfectionism.
Perfectionism is seldom an active choice – it's not common to deliberately try to work out how to be a perfectionist.
Instead, perfectionists often begin to obsess about perfection in their early lives, before they even have the resources to understand what's happening.
This perfectionism in children often comes directly from parents, whether in the form of modeling or direct messaging.
In other words, your parents might verbally pressure you to be perfect, turning you into a child afraid to make mistakes.
Alternatively, they might not say anything about perfection but show you the disappointment, anger, and self-loathing they feel toward themselves when they're anything less than perfect.
So far, we've given you a sense of how perfectionism comes about and noted that it sets us up to feel bad about ourselves.
You might already be seeing how this fits into The Law Of Attraction work.
For one thing, if you have a negative self-image then you vibrate on a low frequency and it's difficult to attract positive opportunities and good people into your life.
In addition, if you're focused on a standard you're not meeting, you're focused on what you lack.
And lack attracts lack!
This means, if you want to manifest your dreams and goals, you need to learn how to stop being a perfectionist.
Before we delve into the practical strategies you need to employ if you want to move past perfectionism, it's worth building a clearer picture of how the perfectionist mindset works.
Here, then, are the main signs that you might be a perfectionist. How many of these do you recognize?
Black and white thinking: Perfectionists tend to have an “all or nothing” attitude. You might see people as all good or all bad, yourself as either entirely successful or a failure, and a job as either well done or completely ruined. In truth, everything admits of degrees and shades of grey – especially people.
Critical attitude: The critical attitude of perfectionists usually involves unrealistic standards. So, you may feel the strong urge to criticize yourself and/or others if you ever detect a mistake.
This can lead to strained personal relationships, as well as to low self-esteem when you don't match up to your own standards. Forgiving yourself and others may be especially hard for you.
Motivated by fear: Perfectionists largely assume that there's such a thing as a perfect personality, and worrying you won't stand up to scrutiny.
Rather than focusing on the joy and fulfillment, you'll get from success, you may find yourself thinking much more about the horrors of failure. When you act to pursue your goals, it's this fear that drives you.
Struggling with failure: Related to the above is a lack of resilience when encountering challenges. In other words, when life doesn't go your way, you may be completely floored by this.
Rather than viewing failure or difficulty as a setback, you can view it as a sign you'll never succeed. In contrast, it's much more helpful to view challenges as an opportunity to learn lessons.
Frequent procrastination: Although this might sound strange at first, perfectionists procrastinate a lot. You may obsess over the “right time” and the “right way” to do something.
As such, you may find you never actually start the project or the task, as the perfect time and place doesn't exist.
Now that you have a clearer image of what it means to be a perfectionist, you'll have a better idea of whether you struggle with perfectionistic thinking.
And, as we noted above, perfectionism is bad for manifesting, largely because it aligns you with lack rather than abundance. It's worth thinking about the Law of Attraction technique “living as is” here.
This technique asks you to imagine and act as though you already have the life you want. Notice that this is frequently lauded as an especially effective tool, and yet it's impossible to use it if you're a perfectionist.
In contrast, focusing on the idea of perfect imperfection actively helps with manifestation. In other words, if you want to attract the things you desire in life, you should strive to accept flaws as part of perfection.
We are all perfectly imperfect people – we all have struggles, flaws, and difficulties. However, time often shows us that it is these very quirks that lead us to success.
Our struggles help us connect with others, help us cultivate empathy, and show us how to anticipate potential problems in the future.
Of course, it's hard to simply overcome perfectionism. As we've explored, you are fighting against years of programming from society, and from your early life experiences.
In addition, it's important not to fall into the trap of being a perfectionist about fighting perfectionism!
In other words, try to accept that you're not always going to succeed here.
Sometimes, you'll fall back into old ways of thinking and acting. However, these moments don't mean that you're back to square one.
Self-improvement isn't entirely linear, especially when you're trying to change something as deep-rooted as perfectionistic tendencies.
With all this in mind, here are three tips that can help you embrace the idea of perfect imperfection.
Our focus here is on developing a more loving, positive attitude to yourself, and on coming to understand your true value.
As we'll come back to, in the end, the general Law Of Attraction techniques can also help you pursue this improvement in self-image.
First, try to make a habit of celebrating imperfection. What does this look like in practice?
Here, lessons from Japanese philosophy are useful once again. Consider the Japanese art of kintsugi, in which broken pottery is joined together with gold.
The broken parts of the pottery are thereby not hidden but rather highlighted.
The artists who started this tradition thought that the break was a part of the pottery's history, and that all of history is worth celebrating.
Try to think about what it would mean to apply this concept to yourself. Celebrating your imperfections involves resisting the urge to conceal them.
Let people see your authentic personality, with all your real traits and preferences (rather than trying to be a perfectly admirable idol).
Dress to express yourself and feel good, rather than to hide your body. And be proud of the history that got you to where you are today – even the parts where you made mistakes.
Secondly, perfectionists try to cram productivity into every hour and often miss opportunities to practice self-care.
However, when we use self-care and make it part of our daily routines, we treat ourselves as though we are valuable.
This treatment filters into our subconscious and helps us to truly love ourselves.
In addition, self-care gives us recovery time after facing difficulties, helping us to be resilient.
You can decide for yourself what self-care should look like. The only rules are that it must involve healthy ways to feel relaxed and positive.
There are various types of self care, some popular examples include reading fiction, spending time in nature, laughing, and treating your body to a bath or massage.
Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, overcoming perfectionism requires taking active steps to accept your true self.
This means doing the hard work of facing up to the sources of your self-doubt.
Through journaling, conversations with friends, or in therapy, try to dig down into where your perfectionism comes from. Who gave you these damaging messages? Why and how did you take them on?
Answering these questions is a crucial step in rejecting old, damaging beliefs and replacing them with affirming attitudes toward yourself.
In addition, remember that self-acceptance is a gradual process. Don't be disheartened by days when you find it more difficult.
Finally, having a manifestation guide or tool kit puts you in an excellent position to overcome perfectionism for good.
One item in your toolkit is creative visualization – the process by which you build a detailed image of how you want to be.
Use this to restore your positivity and keep going when perfectionist ideals begin to make you feel low.
Another useful tool is positive affirmations – statements you say in order to support your manifestation journey. Even personal vision statements are effective.
You can design these to reject perfectionist beliefs and focus on celebrating your perfect imperfection.
Similarly, you might use a vision board to support loving yourself as you are, using motivational quotes and inspiring images.
Our manifestation programs help you to fulfill your potential, honing these skills, and more. With our support, you can attract the things you've always wanted.
Whether you dream of love, financial abundance, or an amazing job, you don't need to be perfect to get what you want.