If someone has recently hurt you, you’ll know just how painful and arduous the process of recovery can be. Whether you’re in the aftermath of a particular emotional injury or have been the recipient of a pattern of toxic behavior, you’ll be carrying around all kinds of scars and want to know how to forgive. You probably know that you need to let go of all that anger and resentment, but it’s incredibly hard in practice. You might have asked yourself “How do I forgive?” and struggled to find an answer that works.
Learning how to forgive is complex, and it can’t happen overnight. However, it is possible, and you’ll be so much better off when you succeed. This guide could help you understand the nature of forgiving someone who has hurt you, and it can show you how you can truly move on. So, keep reading to discover how to forgive someone who has hurt you.
Forgiveness is deeply personal, so no two individuals will experience it in exactly the same way. That said, it is a process with roughly five distinct stages, and you will likely go through all of these at some point.
Here’s what you can expect from each:
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While the above stages of forgiveness give you a better sense of what to expect, there are of course plenty of other complexities. In particular, it is easier said than done to know what it’s time to move on! When you let go of grudges, you instantly improve your mental well-being.
(Read more about ‘How The Power Of Forgiveness Could Save Your Life‘ in our full article.)
But how do you know when it’s the right time to forgive and let go of someone? Here are some major signs.
Just like forgiveness, letting go and moving on are subtly different processes for everyone. But if you’re struggling and want a clear path to follow, work through these 12 steps to find peace and release. Keep reading to discover how to forgive and move on, starting today.
Step 1: Reconnect With Your HeartDo whatever you need to do to feel like your best, most authentic self. Meditate, be creative, spend time with those who aren’t hurting you, and tap into your heart energy. This is the positive, resilient part of you that will give you the resources you need to recover from pain.
Try to understand the grudge you’re holding on to properly.
Why does it hurt so much? What past wounds does it reactive? What is it about you that means you have been especially harmed by what has happened?
When you turn your insight inwards instead of analyzing the one who hurt you, you’ll empower yourself with self-knowledge.
Another important part of learning how to forgive someone is taking responsibility for whatever role you played in the hurtful event. Your role might be minor or major, but if you don’t acknowledge it then you’ll subconsciously project negative thoughts about yourself onto others. And as you take responsibility for what’s appropriate, allow yourself to receive forgiveness too.
No matter how awful something is, there are always useful lessons to be learned. In fact, the Universe often sends us challenges precisely so we can grow.
Ask yourself what you can learn from this particular rupture in your relationship with another person. What will you do differently in other relationships? For example, are there firmer boundaries you need to hold?
It’s tempting to ruminate on how wrong the other person is. However, if you want to forgive someone who has hurt you emotionally, you need to focus on this old Chinese proverb: “It’s better to be kind than to be right.”
How can you offer that kindness to the person who wronged you? And how might kindness make your other relationships run more smoothly?
Empathy is a powerful weapon against grudges. Spend at least a little time seeing your current situation from the other person’s perspective.
This exercise isn’t about finding excuses for bad behavior, but about understanding the complexities and inner struggles we all face.
Sometimes the other person has no intention of saying sorry. However, if someone is willing to offer you an apology, take it with grace. This doesn’t mean you have to excuse their actions. Plus, you don't even have to welcome the person back into your life if you don’t want to.
However, it does mean putting persistent negative thinking to bed.
When you’ve experienced recent hurt, you might be tempted to keep looking for further offenses. These might be in the same relationships, or just in life in general.
However, if you look for signs of disrespect or reasons to be angry, you will find them! Start your day with the assumption that people will treat you well, and go from there.
On a related note, it’s important to keep your mind trained on expectations of goodness. This can help you be an open, positive person who attracts the best people into your life.
You might find it helpful to say a daily affirmation like “I attract kind and loving people into my life” or “I expect goodness, and I will receive it.”
Do a daily 10-minute visualization focused on letting go. Some people imagine themselves moving like water, gently flowing through their relationships as they change. Other people imagine their grudge as a physical object that they throw into the sea or over a cliff.
Alternatively, you might see your negativity leaving your body as a colored mist.
As noted above, to forgive and let go you need to take yourself out of the past. Tell yourself that you’re going to give all your energy to this moment and this day, instead of uselessly pouring it into something you can’t change.
Meditation can be helpful here, as can physically grounding activities like exercising or making something with your hands.
Do your best to align yourself with a loving, giving vibration.
Try writing down 3-5 things that make you feel love at the start of your day, and hold those in your heart. Every time you feel yourself returning to negativity, recite those 3-5 things in your mind. As you give love, so too will you receive it.
(If you want more detailed advice and the tools to further help you today, be sure to grab your FREE Law Of Attraction toolkit, just click here now!)
When you’ve experienced letting go and moving on, you learn a lot about life and about yourself. Toxic relationships with toxic people are incredibly painful, but they’re also richly educational. Recognize that you’ve discovered more about what you need from relationships, your deepest vulnerabilities, and your capacity for healing.
In addition, the process of forgiveness teaches us how to live in the present instead of stewing over the past or stressing about the future. When we are able to enjoy and fully experience each passing moment, we get more out of life and permit ourselves to be happy.
Finally, when it comes to the issue of how to forgive someone who keeps hurting you, make sure you distinguish this from tolerating future emotional injuries. Forgiveness and relationship endings are not mutually exclusive. You can offer forgiveness and let go of grudges while still refusing to let a toxic person back into your life. And in some cases, that may be what you need in order to attain love and well-being.
If you are ready to move on, be sure to discover the missing pieces you need to utilize The Law Of Attraction in your life… Click here now!
