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Should I Get Back With My Ex? 10 Questions To Ask Yourself


Have you recently broken up with your partner? Are you questioning whether or not it was the right decision? Maybe you are unsure what to do next. You may even be asking yourself the complicated and emotional question; “should I get back with my ex?”.

Each relationship is unique and different for everyone, there are many reasons as to why things may not work out, and it can be hard to know if you should try again. Some people say that getting back with their ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend was a great idea but for others, it has been a mistake.

“Should I Get Back With My Ex?”

If you are unsure of what you want to do, ask yourself the following questions so that you can get more of an insight into how you feel and what decision you should make.

Things To Ask Yourself Before Reconnecting With An Ex

It’s really important that you are confident with your own decision, and know that whatever you do is going to be best for you. If you are asking yourself ‘Should I get back with my ex?”, then take a look at the 10 questions we have put together, to ask yourself.

Once you have answered them for yourself, you should have a clearer mind and know exactly how you feel about the situation. When you have a better understanding, it should hopefully be easier for you to make your decision.

1. Why Didn’t It Work Out The First Time Around?

It can be hard to reflect on the negatives in your relationship, but you need to look back at what caused your relationship to not work out the first time. If you are thinking about getting back together with this person, these problems may still be something you will both need to work on.

Ask yourself what the problem was and if it’s possible to change and improve. It’s quite likely that the problem will occur the second time around, so if you are unsure whether or not you can resolve the problem, it’s definitely worth thinking about this carefully.

Was it was it a one-sided love? If you had major differences, clashing personalities, or had different visions of your future, then are they now resolved?

Try and remember what caused the relationship to end and ask yourself if it’s something you can try and work on again and something that you want to resolve with your partner.

2. Have I Grown Since The Breakup?

Whether or not you feel as though the breakup was your fault, theirs or a mutual decision, a very important thing to question is if you have grown from the breakup. It’s a good idea to give yourself time after a breakup, to work on yourself, improve and grow.

If you are considering getting back with an ex, then if you can go back into the relationship having reflected and grown as a person, it could really benefit your relationship.

If you feel that you have not changed, grown or improved on anything, maybe think about giving yourself some time. You may feel that you need time to reflect on things and see if you can grow, that isn’t a bad thing. There are many benefits of staying single and concentrating on yourself.

On the other hand, if you feel that you have grown as a person, this could help you to overcome certain obstacles if you go back into your relationship.

3. Have They Grown Since The Breakup?

You also need to ask this question if you are thinking of reconnecting with an ex. If you have grown and improved as a person, you would probably hope that your ex has done the same too. So that you both can grow and improve, you would need to have some time to reflect on your faults, which can really help your relationship if you get back together.

If you don’t think that they have grown at all since the breakup, ask yourself if this will cause any problems when getting back together. Do you think they need to change before you go back to them? If these are the questions you are having, take some time to find out how you feel before jumping back into the relationship.

4. Why Do We Want To Get Back Together?

This question should be quite an easy one for you to answer. If you have a successful, healthy relationship then you will most likely be aware that you are in love and that the relationship needs commitment, support, loyalty, and much more.

If your answer to this is that you feel no one else will love you or your friends and family think that you should reconnect, this is not a good sign. You should know in your heart why you want to get back with your ex and if you are unsure, this may be a sign that you should move on.

Think about this question carefully before you make a decision.

5. Have You Taken The Time To Figure Out What Makes You Happy?

It’s very important that you know what makes you happy. Doing this can sometimes take time, so having some distance from the relationship when you break up is OK. If you and your ex have not taken time to figure out what makes you both happy, the problems may occur once again when you reconnect.

Having some time and distance for yourself can help you reflect on your relationship and figure out what needs to change to make you happy. Once you have figured out what you need and what makes you happy, you will know if your ex-partner fits in that picture or not.

6. What Makes This Second Chance Different?

To answer this question, you may have to actually see your ex and speak to them before you get back together. If you can sit down and chat with your partner, you should start to figure out if anything has changed, and if this second time around will be any different.

When you see your ex, if they don’t seem to have tried to improve, grow or work on anything and the problems you faced still seem to be present, it may be worth really having a think about your decision. If things still seem the same, then the problems might also be the same too. If you can ask yourself this question and know that this second time will be different, this could be a good sign.

7. Do We Accept Each Other?

No one can ever be perfect. Everyone has faults and imperfections, but you need to ask yourself if you can accept your ex’s faults.

In relationships, there are some things people have to work on.

However, at the same time, you also have to fully accept each other and little things that may annoy you long-term. Compromise is sometimes needed, so decide what you are willing to compromise on in your life.

If there are things about your partner that you simply cannot accept then you shouldn't force them to change. Therefore, this should be something you think about before you reconnect with them.

8. Do We Both Recognize Our Mistakes?

Do you know what happened to cause your relationship to fall apart the first time, and do you know where you both went wrong? Owning up to your mistakes is important in order to grow and improve as a person, and hopefully, your ex can do the same too.

If you or your ex-partner do not recognize your mistakes or try and improve something that perhaps you need to work on, this could cause your relationship to fall apart a second time. Ask yourself if you have both recognized and worked on your mistakes before getting back together with your ex.

9. How Will You Prevent Yourselves From Falling Back Into Old Habits?

Before you get back with an ex, think about how you can both stop yourself from falling back into your old habits. If those habits showed their face again, it could mean that you will split for the second time, especially if the habits are something you cannot resolve.

Know that it’s always best to talk about how you feel and discuss things with your partner, that way they can be made aware if they slip up, or vise-versa. Think about how you can both prevent old habits from reoccurring before you reconnect with your ex. If you feel this isn’t possible, this may not be a good sign.

10. Can You Truly Forgive?

Sometimes, you have to forgive and forget certain situations. However, if you feel that problems in the past with your ex cannot be forgiven or forgotten, this could cause problems in your relationship.

If you go back into your relationship resenting your partner or you are constantly bringing up the past and not able to build a new future, this could most likely result in another split. Reflect on your relationship and think about whether or not you can forgive, forget and move on with the relationship, otherwise, it may not be wise getting back together again.

How To Get Your Ex Back

Once you have answered these questions and reflected on how you feel, you should be able to make a decision. To help you out, even more, take a look at our other article on what a healthy and happy relationship should look like.

If you have decided you do want to get back with your ex, be sure to give this video presentation a watch. It reveals secrets to help get your ex-partner back. Plus, check out the ‘Ex Factor Guide System‘! Click here now to find out more information about how to get your ex back.

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Katherine Hurst
By Katherine Hurst
Katherine Hurst, is a Law of Attraction expert, best-selling author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on psychology, life design, structured thinking and emotional wellbeing.

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