Many people are sadly held back from the lives they want to live.
So often it’s not by practical constraints, as it is by a fear of judgment.
Have you ever wanted to make a change to your appearance, your career, or your way of living and yet denied yourself the chance for satisfaction because of what you thought other people might think of you?
The truth is that although this plight is terribly counterproductive for anyone, it’s particularly important to find a resolution if you’re trying to work with the tools recommended by the Law of Attraction.
If you can’t move past concerns about how others see you, then you’re never going to be able to use the Law of Attraction to manifest the life you want.
Instead, you’ll either (i) set your intentions to match an inauthentic goal, trying to create a life that is really just made to satisfy others, or (ii) try to manifest your dream life but constantly let negative thoughts about others creep in and undermine your manifestation skills.
1. It’s not their life, it's yours! You're the one who will have to live with the decisions you make, not them.
2. People’s thoughts change every day. You have probably noticed how you can change your mind from time to time. Maybe you've thought about how you don't see something the same way you did a couple of years ago. The great news is… Other people are just like you! Today they say one thing, but tomorrow they may believe something completely different. And this is normal; life goes on, things change. Plus, discussion and debates also can change people's minds and that is okay too.
3. Others don’t care as much as you think. People have their own problems and their own lives to worry about.
4. What’s right for them may be wrong for you. We're all different and you're unique, so only you know best what you need.
5. It’s impossible to please everybody. There are hundreds of people in your life. Friends, relatives, colleagues, housemates etc. It is impossible to make them all happy. Have a few people’s opinions you trust, but forget the rest. There will always be people who dislike you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
First of all, it’s smart to be honest about where your discomfort is coming from. When you tell yourself that others will think badly of you if you do something, it may in some cases be that you will think badly of yourself for doing it; perhaps because you’re not comfortable putting yourself first or being different.
An apparent fear of judgment can also be a way to avoid the fear of failure. It can sometimes be easier to believe you’re not doing something because you don’t want to displease others than to accept that you’re scared.
Separate your own self-assessments from those that are genuinely coming from others. When you’ve isolated negative appraisals that are coming from you, work to trace those back to their original sources. For example, you may fear failure because a parent told you it was weak to fail, or you may avoid creative ventures because a school teacher mocked your art.
Understand the roots of these messages, and think about how you can reject those messages.
It may not be easy to get rid of the limiting beliefs that are holding you back, but you can do it!
When it comes to judgments that really are conferred on you by others and not yourself, it can be so helpful to see why people judge. The crucial message here is that a person’s judgmental, critical or negative attitude says so much more about them than it does about you.
In a huge number of cases, people who would put you down for living the life you want to live are just scared to see that it is possible to do so; scared to see that they don’t need to be stuck in their dull, boring routines. See these small-minded attitudes for what they are, and know that by moving past such judgments you’ll be manifesting a far happier existence.
It’s time to conduct an honest appraisal of the people in your social circle. Are you spending too much of your time and energy on people who put you down, compete with you all the time, or make it clear that they believe their way of life is the only valid path to follow?
If so, you’d benefit from evaluating these friends and considering spending more of your time with positive people. Look for friends, family members and colleagues who are non-judgment, loving, warm, expect the best and genuinely see that everyone’s dream life is different.
Meanwhile, when developing new relationships, be alert to whether these new people might be trying to make themselves feel better by judging you. If you get that sense, then politely walk away and devote your energy to relationships that will build you up, not knock you down.
If you need help removing sources of negativity from your life, have a look at some of the exercises in The Law of Attraction Origins program.
For example, The Personal Power Generator technique will teach you how to see yourself so you feel supremely confident and respected by every person you meet.
Or you may benefit from The Positivity Switch exercise which can help you “flip” your fears and negative thoughts into something that provides power instead of taking it away.
While there’s a lot of meaningful work that you can do on your own, it’s also worth considering whether you could use the help of a professional. Even just a few sessions with a therapist can help you to better connect with your feelings and to reject previously negative attitudes towards yourself.
Just like surrounding yourself with positive friends and family members, sitting with a genuinely empathic, accepting therapist helps you to see yourself in a much better light. However, if it doesn’t feel like a good fit, then don’t be afraid to speak out and find someone who provides the safe space you need.
Practicing affirmations is an effective, daily way to progressively stop caring about the opinions of others. Looking into your eyes in the mirror, say something like “I will live my dream life, and the only opinion that matters is my own” or “I trust myself to know what’s best for me and don’t need to listen to negative voices.”
Alternatively, design your own affirmation! You’ll know what best captures your sentiment and reinforces the message you want to accept. Make sure you say your affirmation at the best time of day. For example, if it’s judgment at work that you fear, then say your affirmation just before you leave for the office.
Alternatively, if family dynamics are getting you down, you can say your affirmation before a big dinner (or even in the bathroom at an event that gets overwhelming!). You’ll be instantly reconnected with your determination to trust yourself and live the life you know you really want.
The truth is that in a lot of the situations when you think you are being judged, you aren't. There are very few people in your life who really care enough to judge, most people just don't even notice your flaws and imperfections, and they definitely do not have the time to think about the decisions you make in your life.
Remember that you can't read people's minds. You make think you sense disapproval from them, but you may be wrong.
If you really want to know their honest opinion (and make sure it is an opinion of someone you care about and respect) then the best thing to do is to just ask for it. It is far easier than second-guessing.