You might think that anger management is only for people who are constantly filled with rage or inclined to lash out at others. However, we could all use a little help recognizing signs of anger. Similarly, we all need to learn how to calm down without repressing, and understanding how we can express our feelings appropriately.
Anger can be entirely appropriate. However, it can also get out of hand and undermine our well-being. It can make us vibrate on a negative frequency that stops us from attracting the things we want. The next time you feel anger, here are some productive things you can do.
When we feel angry, it’s tempting to obsess about the event or comment that got us into that state in the first place. This typically only escalates the feelings and risks turning them into fury. Instead, consciously turn your focus to something you can do to instantly resolve the anger in some way and with some self-discipline.
So, for example, if you’re feeling wound up by something your partner has done, ask yourself how you can talk about this constructively. Explain your feelings in a rational way and avoid the behavior reoccurring in the future.
If it isn’t possible to find a problem-solving outlet for your anger, try shifting to ways to let out some of your negative energy.
This is called sublimation, and you can use it to turn angry impulses into something harmless and acceptable.
A typical example is a physical activity like running, boxing, or weightlifting, but the possibilities are endless. It can include creative arts like painting, writing, or making music.
Although you’re probably bristling at the thought of how to forgive someone when you’re still angry, there are few things you can do that are more powerful when it comes to anger management.
It might help to think about things this way: staying furious at someone allows them to continue to have a type of power over you, your thoughts, and your feelings. When you move into a place of forgiveness, you release yourself from that hold and gain freedom.
So, how do you go about forgiving when something that sparked your anger is still raw and difficult to cope with? It depends on the relationship you have with the person who angered you.
If the person matters a great deal to you and you want ongoing closeness, you may need to sit down together, discuss what happened, and offer forgiveness (sometimes in both directions).
However, if you’re dealing with someone who purely brings negativity to your days and inhibits your ability to attract good things, it’s worth considering whether, and how you'd remove toxic people from your life.
The American Psychological Association officially endorses relaxation techniques as a way of managing feelings of anger. They cite deep breathing exercises and “relaxing imagery” as examples. The latter is a particularly helpful approach if you’re already working with the Law of Attraction. This is because it is broadly similar to the creative visualization you’re already doing.
Sometimes, simply doing your usual exercise (in which you visualize your goal) will be enough to turn your mind away from pointless anger and towards productive positivity.
Combining deep breathing with affirmations can also be very powerful. Inhale from your diaphragm, as slowly and deeply as you can. Then exhale just as slowly, feeling the body soften and relax as you do this. This will help to drain tension out of your muscles. Meanwhile, pick and use an affirmation that is tied to anger reduction, such as “I am calm and in control”. Repeat that to yourself several times.
Consider what you do when you’re angry. If you’re like most people, you probably curse, stomp around, snap at people, and may even feel the urge to hit something.
However, when you act like this, you just reinforce your own negative feelings. You also block your path to a successful resolution.
This is where cognitive restructuring comes in. It’s a technique that refers to changing your thought processes. It may sound complex but is actually very simple.
For example, say that you’re at work and a less experienced member of your team is struggling with a part of a group project. You may immediately start to think things like “if we don’t finish this then I’ll never get my promotion… why is he so slow?”.
When you think these thoughts, they fuel your irritation and lead to more thoughts that may be even angrier.
To practice cognitive restructuring, notice this internal voice as it arises. Replace its messages with more rational ones, such as “there’s nothing I can do about this situation, so there is no point in getting upset” or “If I stay calm, I can help my colleague and we’ll get things done faster”.
In time, these more productive thoughts can become second nature.
Finally, while you probably see the merits of demonstrating good listening skills, you might be wondering why it’s allegedly relevant to anger management strategies.
Essentially, the thought is that if you can learn to listen “actively”. Then, you enhance every moment of communication between yourself and others. This reduces the potential for misunderstandings. It also fosters empathy and often reduces feelings of irritation before they get a chance to grow into full-blown anger.
The basics of active listening revolve around listening very closely without interrupting. Also, avoid trying to bracket your own agenda while you take in the other person’s words. Observe their body language so as to detect subtle cues about underlying thoughts and feelings.
It is also very useful to “reflect back” a summary of what you think you’ve heard the other person say. This gives them a sense of being validated and a chance to correct mistakes.
“Hypnosis for anger control (sometimes known as ‘stress hypnotherapy’) is highly effective. All you need is a place to get comfortable, a little privacy, and an anger management hypnosis download.”
Self-hypnosis can help with all the previous steps, assisting you to achieve a calm and stress-free mind as well as encouraging a positive state of mind and good habits.