Do you ever feel like you are always saying yes? Perhaps you find it really hard to say no, especially without feeling guilty afterward? Maybe you often find yourself putting your own priorities aside whilst saying yes to others? Doing this can cause stress as you are putting too many responsibilities on to yourself.
It can be really hard to say no to people, especially if you like to please people. You may also feel that you have to say yes in order to not be judged, or feel like anyone is upset with you. However, you do not always need to say yes and you do not need to feel guilty for saying no either.
I am going to talk to you about how you can say no without feeling guilty. There are some occasions when you will want to say yes, such as if you owe someone a favor or when you have spare time and are able to help out.
However, there are many times where you are well within your right to say no and without feeling guilty about it too. You can’t please everyone, but as long as you are polite and respectful when saying no, there should be no problems and if there are, that person may not be a very good friend and you should decide whether or not they respect you enough.
Let’s take a look at my 6 tips on how to say no without feeling guilty.
If you always say yes, you are not going to have enough time to do anything. This will cause you stress and worry as you will not have enough time for yourself.
Make sure that whatever it is you are saying yes to is something that you have time for and most importantly, actually want to do. If you have a lot going on one day, try not to take on too much. If you have a free evening one day and the question is asked, you can say yes if you would like, but you also need to know that it’s ok to say no. You will not have time for everything that you want to get done normally, let alone helping other people too.
Knowing and understanding that you can’t do everything and that it is ok to not do everything, will really help you when saying no to others.
Offering an alternative solution to someone is a great way to be able to say no to someone. Even though you cannot directly help them, you are still offering a suggesting or solution, which will help them out.
As long as you can offer something that is relevant to the situation and will help the person, then this is a very useful solution to saying no. You are still being helpful to the person without saying yes and taking up your time. This is a great way to say no without feeling guilty.
This can seem scary at first, however, once you know the best way of saying no to someone (without apologizing), it will seem much easier.
You need to recognize that you do not need to apologize to someone because you cannot do something that they have asked. Apologizing means that you are guilty of something and saying no to someone is nothing to be guilty about.
Again, you do not need to sound rude, you can even offer something else, for example: ‘It’s great that you are throwing a surprise party for our friend, I don’t have time today to help you get decorations, but I will bring a cake for the party when it happens.’ You are not apologizing, but you are offering something else when you have more time, which is great.
Being able to understand why you have a hard time saying no can really help you with the situation. If you know what it is that is stopping you from saying no you can be more rational about the situation and see it from another point of view.
Could it be because you are worried that you will be judged for saying no? Maybe you think that the person you are saying no to will be mad at you for doing so? If this is the case, then you may need to leave the friendship, and surround yourself with nicer and more positive people.
You need to learn your own value. Part of not being able to say no is usually because you want others approval, or you don’t want them to be annoyed at you, judge you or feel let down by you.
However, if you are depending on others approval of you then the chances are that you feel their opinions are more important than your own. This also means you are putting others about yourself. You need to take care of yourself and know how valuable you are.
Other people's opinions of you do not define you or do your problems or mistakes. It is ok to put yourself first and value your own opinion more than the opinions of others.
Already having a rehearsed phrase than you can use when you are asked something out of the blue is extremely helpful, especially if you are not great at thinking on your feet. If you can set aside what you would say if you needed to politely say no to someone, you will not have to think on the spot when asked the question.
An example of a go-to phrase for this could be ‘Thank you for asking me, but unfortunately, I have other commitments so I won’t be able to help you with that.’ Doing this is very helpful and is great to have in case you are likely to panic when you are asked a question on the spot.