“I Made A BIG Mistake In My Life”! What To Do Now
Have you ever said or done something you didn’t mean, only to feel like afterward, an apology just wouldn’t cut it?
Whether you were stressed out, in pain, feeling insecure, or just not fully present; we all occasionally say or do things that we immediately wish we could take back. This can leave us feeling anxious, guilty and generally like an all-around bad person. But what should you do when you recognize you’ve let your emotions get the better of you? Can all wounds be mended? What if we fear our words (or actions) have simply cut too deep?
“I Made A BIG Mistake In My Life!”
Is it really possible to clean up the mess of our mistakes?
The answer is YES. With a little humility, honesty, and the following tips, it is more than possible.
If you’ve made a mistake and need to get your foot out of your mouth (quick-time!), then pay attention to the following tips, for sincerer apologies and healed rifts.
Contrary to popular belief, there are not many things an ‘I’m sorry’ cannot fix. Telling someone you’ve hurt ‘I’m sorry’ may not prove an immediate solution, but it’s definitely a good first step in the right direction.
The power of an apology is largely underestimated, probably because so many people have turned apologizing into such a throwaway comment. ‘I hurt your feelings? Well, I’m sorry’… ‘You’re mad at me? Well, I’m sorry you feel that way’… An insincere apology is no apology at all.
So if you’re going to say it, make sure you mean it! Be empathetic and understand what you have done wrong. Accept your faults and flaws and own up to your mistakes.
2. Be Direct
If you sense you’ve made the wrong move in a situation or suspect you have hurt somebody’s feelings, rather than skirt around the issue, address it!
Avoiding the truth of what has happened with gifts and friendly gestures will not help anybody to heal. Facing up to a mistake takes courage and courage is what can earn you back your respect.
3. Be Genuine
It can be tempting to blurt out a quick, rambling apology when you’re hoping for forgiveness. But who is this kind of apology really for? The other person or yourself?
When you try to use flimsy apologies as band-aids to cover cracks in your relationships, you’re not really trying to mend the situation you’ve created with your spouse/family/friend/colleague, you’re just trying to make yourself feel better.
For example, no more of this ‘I’m sorry if I offended/upset you…’
The ‘if’ puts the blame back on the other person. Take responsibility and be genuine. Those magical two words, ‘I’m sorry’, need only be two things, sweet and sincere.
4. Be Patient
You’ve faced up to your mistake, given a beautiful apology, you’ve been deeply sincere, but why won’t they forgive you dammit?! Steady on there! Wounds take time to heal. Do you remember a time you were hurt by somebody else’s mistake? No doubt back then you too needed time and the same should go for other people.
Give them space. You’ve done what you’ve known was needed and now it’s time to get back to being the best you there is. In the meantime, let time do what it does best, heal.
How To Avoid Making Mistakes
Having said all of this, it’s important to remember that when it comes to making mistakes, prevention really is the best cure. So, before you let things get out of hand, always remember these 2 simple rules to keep yourself from having a ‘doh!’ moment:
- Silence is golden. Know when to zip it!
- The 24-hour rule. Feeling unreasonable/angry/self-righteous/dam-right-peeved? Give yourself 24 hours. If you still feel like saying something after this time has elapsed, at least you’ll have better words for it.
Whether it’s with your family, your spouse, your friend or the neighbor that always takes your parking spot, these two rules are really handy for keeping those ‘what have I just said?!’ moments at bay. However, if you do have a slip-up (which, if you live on this planet, you undoubtedly will!), just refer back to the above four tips for some effective damage control.
Relationships really are the cornerstones of a successful, happy life. That’s why it is essential you keep them loving and nurturing.
There will always be those face-palm moments where the wrong words slip from your mouth, but put the above steps into action and you can be sure that you’ll never lose or damage a relationship as a result of them again.
When or if you do make mistakes, deal with them positively through the Law of Attraction…
Everyone can make mistakes, and sometimes it's how you deal with them that matters more.
Through the Law of Attraction, you can use exercises such as affirmations and visualizations to help get you into a more positive mindset.
You can then think about your mistake rationally and with compassion.
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