You’ve probably heard it said, ‘if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you already got.’
Very true advice. But if this is true, then why do so many of us find it hard to break the cycle of unhealthy relationships?
Have you ever entered into a relationship out of loneliness, rather than love? Do you tend to fall for a person’s potential, rather than the reality of who they are? Have you ever set out to ‘fix’ or ‘save’ the other person in the relationship? Do you feel unworthy of love?
If you find yourself nodding along in agreement to any of the above, then have you ever considered that you might be attracting the wrong kinds of relationship?
It doesn’t matter how many unhealthy relationships you’ve had in the past (after all, our mistakes are what often provide the biggest life lessons). What’s important is that you understand why you’ve been attracting them. What thoughts and belief systems have you been buying into, that have helped you to attract these unfulfilling relationships in your life?
Regardless of what your dating history may be, it’s time to get unstuck from old, negative relationship beliefs and to get stuck into these three steps to help you drop unhealthy relationships, and start attracting healthier and more loving relationships.
Surprisingly, the majority of people know when they’re entering into an unhealthy relationship. At first, they might just see the
relationship as being a bit of a ‘fling’ and as a result, brush any concerns under the carpet. Or, they might just experience that slight ‘niggly’ feeling that something isn’t quite right. However, they ignore this – perhaps out of wanting to be in a relationship so badly or out of habit, from years of ignoring their own intuition.
So learn to trust yourself. If something doesn’t feel right from the very start, then don’t pursue it. Value your intuition enough and recognize that when it comes to your happiness, you really do know best. Here are 6 Tips For Connecting With Your Intuitions.
If you’re stuck in a cycle of attracting the same kinds of unhealthy, unfulfilling relationships, then the biggest contributor to this is often a lack of self-love. So for you, it might be time to take a long, hard look at how you value yourself and your standards in a relationship.
It’s time you recognize that you deserve to be happy and loved in the way that you want to be loved.
So try this quick exercise to raise and update your expectations of relationships; write a list of three of your new non-negotiables for finding love. Remember, the love you have for yourself creates the mold for the love you manifest in all other areas of your life. So concentrate on loving yourself first, and your reality will change to better reflect this.
In an unhealthy relationship, it can be all too easy to become hung up on the other person’s feelings, what they are up to and what they can do for you. A healthy, loving relationship couldn’t be any more different.
Often we put others first, which is lovely but can also be damaging. Bring the focus back to you. This doesn’t mean being self-centered; by this, I mean focusing on what energies you’re nurturing, what action you’re taking, how you’re feeling about yourself… You are only guaranteed control over one thing in your life, and that is yourself.
So concentrate on making yourself happy, on loving yourself and on becoming the best possible version of yourself that you can be.
Do these things, and you’ll attract someone doing the very same for themselves. And it is when two people who are happy within themselves come together, that the healthiest and very best relationships can blossom.
If you’re fed up of buying into unhealthy relationships time and time again, it’s time to take responsibility for the role you play in your love life. Take time out to consider how you might be unknowingly contributing to this negative cycle and start learning how to put yourself first.
No matter how corny it might sound, the most important relationship you have is the one that you have with yourself. So work on getting this right first, and without realizing it, you’ll transform all your relationships for the better.
When you start to love yourself and put yourself first you can begin to understand what isn't good for you in a relationship and you can learn to drop unhealthy relationships.